Frustration

Why is it so hard to get back on track with food???

I've been on Weight Watchers for ten months. I did great with consistently watching what I ate. Saturday was always my splurge day, so any mad cravings I had usually waited until then. And it worked.

I gave myself last week off for my birthday. BIG mistake. While I didn't go crazy with food every day, I definitely ate differently than I normally do. Every meal didn't include some form of lean protein, a fruit or a veggie. I had more carbs than normal (including cereal for dinner a couple times), and definitely more sweets (I'd swing by the candy basket at work a couple times a day and I did so gleefully).

But now, I am trying to get back on track and it is SO HARD. I feel like I am way more hungry than normal. I guess I just need to get myself back into a schedule with my eating? And also, ALL I WANT is carbs. I had to fight with myself not to make a biscuit to have with my lean beef and green beans for dinner tonight. And I had a York peppermint patty, but that wasn't enough. So I ripped open a bag of the tiny size Reese's cups and ate half before pouring the rest out into the trash.

I guess I just have to go cold turkey. Back to my normal diet, with absolutely zero slip-ups for a couple days to get the taste of peanut butter and chocolate out of my mind, huh?

Why does it have to be so hard?

So here's the deal. I'm going to make myself tell you guys EVERYTHING I eat from now until Friday night. Hopefully, three days of detoxing will help me. I also think I need to weigh in on Saturday. I was debating it, because I know I'll be up, but I think I might need the jolt of SEEING the number on the scale higher than it has been.

So (gulp), here we go:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup Fiber One cereal, 1/2 cup skim milk, blueberries
AM Snack: 12 almonds, pear
Lunch: Gorton's tilapia, sweet potato pinwheels, cucumbers, tomatoes, 1/2 boiled egg, and 2 tbs Ken's Light Ranch dressing. After that came some random stress eating, where I popped two Baby Ruth bars and three Butterfinger bars, but not the normal sized ones. The teeny tiniest ones. But STILL!
PM Snack: Apple, protein drink
Dinner: Lean beef, green beans, grape tomatoes, York peppermint patty, 1/2 snack bag of Reese's peanut butter cup minis.

See? A lot of what I eat is decent. I just have to somehow avoid the chocolate. Any ideas to help?

***
What do you find so hard to refrain from eating in your daily life?

A Birthday = Sayonara to a Diet!

Well, I turned the big 3-2 today. And my friends helped me celebrate in style. They know my true sweet tooth, and they know the lengths I have to go to in order to suppress it to maintain my weight. But the sweets came out in droves today!

It all started with this:

I have a weird obsession with candy corn. Around Halloween every year, I will eat enough to make myself sick on it, and then I have to have a reprieve. But around my birthday, the craving comes back!
And then this came along:

I have seen these in the stores for weeks now, but never tried them. But one of my sweet friends bought them for me, and OHMYGOD, so good. It's almost obscene how good they are. YUM.
Then came two cupcakes from two of my amazing friends:

A Publix cupcake from my student teacher. If you have Publix stores in your area, you gotta admit, their cupcakes are amazing. If you don't... your world makes me sad. The frosting is the best part, and my wise student teacher knows this. So she had them add TRIPLE the frosting. And in fun colors! Love it. And yes, the ribbon on top kind of makes it even more sparkly and fun.

Red velvet. Just... Just... YUM. The frosting was to die for.
For every birthday on my grade level, we all take turns buying that person's favorite dessert and bringing it in to share as a mini-celebration. My favorite sweet was brought in for sure:

These amazing doughnuts were from Donut King, and they're so so so good. They're the most ginormous doughnuts ever. I might have had two. My poor jeans.
And then, finished the day off with two very yummy items:

That would be a Bud Light, some grilled shrimp, and French fries.

Now, I'm back home, in my bed, and my belly feels stretched to capacity. I am a happy, happy, stuffed birthday girl, but truth be told? I think I'm ready to go back to protein and fiber and water tomorrow!

Ending the post with something beautiful I got today. My parents left on a cruise today, but before they left, they made sure I'd get gorgeous flowers delivered to work from them!

Rewarding with Food -- For the Dogs?

I saw this image on Pinterest today:

And it really got me thinking. I am one who has always rewarded (or comforted, or celebrated!) myself with food. If I had a great day at work, I felt like I deserved Cheetos and a cupcake. If I had a terrible day at work, I felt like I deserved Cheetos and a cupcake with some tears. On a Friday, I felt I needed to celebrate my survival through another work week with some Cheetos and a cupcake.

But since beginning Weight Watchers again, I have tried to change that mentality. Just the other day, I was going through some stressful times, and I told my friend Jenni that I wanted "wings and beer" just to make it through. And Jenni's response was just what I needed to hear:

"At the end of the meal, Amanda, is your stress still going to be there, or will wings and beer truly take care of it?"

And she was right, of course. The food would make me feel better for all of 20 minutes, but then, once the plates were cleaned and the smoke cleared, I'd still be left with the stress hanging over my head, only now it would be compounded with guilt over giving in to a compulsion I knew I shouldn't.

So instead, I began to make a list of rewards and/or comforts that were not food-related:

1) Work out -- on a bad day, nothing can turn my mood around better than a good sweat. Even a bad run on a bad day can make me feel so much better.

2) Give myself permission to laze -- There are times where I feel like I SHOULD be doing something "useful" -- laundry, cleaning, etc. But I have learned to let myself lay on the couch with a good book on my Kindle or a recorded show on my DVR, and let THAT be a treat.

3) Quality time with friends and/or family -- If I'm in a bad mood, it's a surefire thing that my friends can cheer me up. They make me laugh, and they will cajole me out of my mood. My parents are much the same way. I can go and vent to them about my problem or stresses, and then, the magical healing properties of a parent's presence takes over and I feel better.

4) Read a good book -- My Kindle is the most amazing thing I've ever gotten. I love that I can pull it out of my purse, regardless of where I am. If I want to reward myself or comfort myself, I will often find myself buying new books. My newest reads have been either 1) geared to the young adult section of the bookstore, or 2) running related.

5) Blog! -- I have already found, in just a week and a half, that writing down my thoughts and emotions go a long way towards validating my thoughts, be they happy, sad, or stressed. Whether you want others to read it or not, write down your thoughts. It can help clear up potentially cloudy situations and it can provide a way to remember those happy events in your life!

Is there a good way to reward/comfort/celebrate yourself that does not involve food that I missed? Let me know!

A Weight Loss Journey - The Food

I have always, as long as I can remember, been self-conscious of my weight. And my entire life, it feels like I have been on one diet or another. And what is amusing to me now is that I really thought I knew how to eat the right foods. Lean Cuisines, canned soups, and Crystal Light... it works, right?

It did work for a while. But for ME, the sodium levels and the chemicals in the foods just didn't mesh well with my body. I would lose three pounds, then gain six the minute I ate something other than Lean Cuisines or Campbell's. I went from a size 10 to a size 12, and at one point, even those size 12s were getting a big snug. I remember shopping for shirts that would be loose around my belly, so my muffin top wouldn't be as noticeable. New clothes, getting dressed up to go out... all of it would be so stressful! I was weighing in at 159, and at 5'1", it was far too much for my frame.

May 23, 2011, I made a decision. I was heading to meet a friend at the park to run and I made a pitstop on my way there - at Weight Watchers! I weighed in, cried at the number on the scale, and signed right up.

My weight began to drop right away. In fact, I went down six pounds the first week! By June 8th, I was at 149 and ecstatic. Definitely motivation to keep it up. From July 2 - July 30th, I continued to drop weight - slowly, but surely. By the end of July, I was sitting at 146, down 13 pounds. I was also in my size 10 jeans, and even those were a tad baggy in the waist and thighs! Since July 2011, however, my weight has gone back and forth between 142 and 145, and I am comfortably in size 8 jeans. My ultimate goal is 130, however, so I've still got a ways to go.

There were many things that helped me lose weight and continue to lose weight. Exercise is a big part of that - both running and strength-training -- but that is another blog entry for another day. ;) For today, I'm focusing just on my food and how it has changed.

I have always been a Southern girl. While my Weight Watcher leader would tell us to "eat to live, not live to eat," I grew up in a household that did, in fact, live to eat. Pound cake, cheese grits, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, white bread with butter... YUM. Food just makes me happy. I eat when I'm stressed about something, I eat to celebrate great news, I eat when I'm sad about something... Overall, lots of eating. As you can imagine, this didn't bode well for my waistline!

When I first started WW, I was able to eat 29 points per day, with 49 weekly points. I would be great all week, staying within my points and eating low point foods. Then on Saturday, I would go crazy and eat all my weeklies at one time! Breakfast at Waffle House after weighing in (I know, don't tell my WW leader!), Mexican food and margaritas at lunch, and wings (and beer!) for dinner. I LIVED for Saturdays!

But my weight began to slow down. I would gain two pounds, then lose one. Then I'd gain a half pound and lose two pounds. I wavered back and forth between gaining and losing the same 3 pounds from September 2011 to January 2012. So I took a deep breath, said goodbye to my endless food Saturdays, and tried something new.

I had never really tracked before on Saturdays. I didn't write down my food, didn't figure out point values... I just assumed I had used all my weeklies and called it a day. But I was running 10-15 miles per week, and I wasn't eating back any of my calories to fuel my body appropriately. So I discovered a plan for WW called the Wendie Plan. I'm not sure why it is named that, but it varies the number of points I eat each day by spreading out my 49 weekly points.

Before, my weeks looked like this:
Saturday (weigh-in day): 26 daily + 49 weekly = 75 points
Sunday - 26 points
Monday - 26 points
Tuesday - 26 points
Wednesday - 26 points
Thursday - 26 points
Friday - 26 points

Now, on the Wendie plan, my weeks look more like this:
Saturday (weigh-in day): 46 - 48 points
Sunday - 26 points
Monday - 33 - 35 points
Tuesday - 26 points
Wednesday - 33-35 points
Thursday - 29 points
Friday - 26 points

I happen to run on Saturdays (long runs), Mondays and Wednesdays, so it works out great!

Since I've made the decision to not only switch to the Wendie plan and start tracking my Saturdays, I've also gone to a nutritionist, who has helped me create meal plans that will help me reach my goal of 130 pounds. I've been on the plans for a few days and they aren't so bad at all!

Because food is such an important part of my life, and it's such an important part of fueling my body for running and working out, it will be an important part of this blog. You will read most days what I have eaten, so be prepared!

Today's food:
Breakfast - 1/2 cup Fiber One cereal, 1/2 cup blueberries, 1/2 cup Horizon Organic fat free milk
AM Snack - cottage cheese, green pepper sticks
Lunch - homemade vegetable soup (complete with homemade chicken broth!), peanut butter pretzels
PM Snack - protein shake (I have a fabulous protein powder I use, so I add some water and a little bit of Crystal Light powder to mask the taste!), pear
Dinner - shrimp, quinoa, asparagus
Night Snack - hardboiled egg, 5 baby carrots, 5 strawberries

I have developed a weird tendency to take pictures of my food, so here are some of my favorite meals that I have consistently:

This is rotisserie chicken, "jazzy" broccoli (olive oil, parmesan cheese, garlic powder), tomatoes, and a glass of milk.

Tuna fish and quinoa, roasted Brussel sprouts, and clementine oranges.